March 15th, 2010 at 08:15pm
Under Teens/Tweens
This month I will turn 56 and I just learned something new about myself, I’m a right brainer. I learned this from reading the book “A Whole New Mind” Moving from the Informational Age to the Conceptual Age (2005) by Daniel Pink. According to Pink’s research right brainers don’t march in the single file formation of A-B-C-D-E. Right brainer’s special talent is the ability to interpret things simultaneously. This side of our brain is “specialized in seeing many things at once or in seeing all the elements of a situation and understanding what they mean.”
Left brainers tend to be sequential, rational, analytical, objective, and looks at parts rather than the whole picture. Pink describes the six senses that differentiate right brainers from left brainers:
1. DESIGN: it’s not just function but also something that is beautiful or emotionally engaging.
2. STORY: it’s not just information and data that forms an effective argument, but the ability to tell a compelling story.
3. SYMPHONY: it’s not the analysis of data and information but the synthesis- seeing the big picture, crossing boundaries.
4. EMPATHY: it’s not just logic but the ability to understand people, to develop relationships, and to care for others.
5. PLAY: not just seriousness but to understand the great health benefits both personally and professionally to laugh, have fun, play games, and a sense of humor.
6. MEANING: not just accumulation of material things and material comfort but to pursue our purpose and spiritual fulfillment.
Mr. Pink’s words spoke to me and described who I was in a way I never understood before and it explained so much. During my tenure (12 years) at the Massachusetts Department of Public Health AIDS Bureau I was expected to and did accomplish building coalitions and consortia throughout the entire state. Not only was there incredible geographic diversity, but there was also diversity in class, race, sexual orientation, education level, and people at different stages of their sobriety.
Although I was successful in this endeavor my skills were not valued and I was actually told that I worked too collaboratively and there was no longer a place for me in the AIDS Bureau (they needed left brainers only). Seeing the handwriting on the wall I was able to move on with my reputation intact. Unfortunately I did encounter similar difficulties in my next two positions.
Now take my experience and multiply it ten- fold…. that is if you are a student with ADHD. Today’s experts believe that children with ADHD are all right brain learners. I don’t have ADHD but I have found it difficult living in a left brain world. Most of the expectations in our schools are those that are on the left side of the brain. Students are judged by their left brain abilities. If the student is a right brainer, then the schools will often judge the student to be failing.
I want to point out that many of the important achievements in history have all been done through the right side of the brain. To name a few: Michelangelo, Da Vinci, Mozart, and the Great Pyramids. Even these amazing architectural creations required expert technical and math skills but first required the vision of the creation. Yet, right brainers are still not valued.
Right brain dominant children suffer every day at school. These bright children are forced to sit at their desks listening to the teacher give a lecture about something that doesn’t hold their attention. And rather than uncovering their strengths they are constantly admonished for not paying attention, not trying hard enough or being lazy.
Could be that the Da Vinci of the 21st century is being stifled and feeling that they are stupid and unable to succeed in school.
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Tags: Learning disabilities, learning right brain kids, right brain kids
By Susan Epstein
January 10th, 2010 at 09:24pm
Under Children+ Family+ Teens/Tweens
The Problems That Cell Phones Are Causing for our Kids
- Looking at their phones hundreds of times a day-interrupted thought processes
- Conversations being interrupted to respond to a text message-not finishing sentences
- Sleeping with phones equals interrupted sleep
- Phones at school breeds interruptions in learning
- Phones during homework results in interrupted concentration
What You Can Do
- Before you purchase your child’s first cell phone…ask yourself…why am I doing this? If it is because your child is begging you that s/he cannot live without it and everyone else has one, yada yada yada….think good and hard.
- Decide if your child/tween/teen really requires his or her cell phone while at school and if not do not allow them to bring it.
- Cell phones are handed over to parents after school and returned when homework is completed.
- Cell phones are handed over to parents during the child’s sleeping hours.
- Cell phones will become a power struggle. There is no way around it. Having a system for controlling their use will ensure that your child grows up socially adept and with a mind that can focus on one thing at a time.
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Tags: cell phones kids, problems cell phones kids
By Susan Epstein
December 21st, 2009 at 04:57pm
Under ADHD+ Children
The last night of Chanukah ended this past Friday. As I put my Menorah away for another year I thought back to my childhood. I loved Chanukah, lighting the Menorah, eating potato latkes and getting a really great gift. My family did not give a gift every night, just one big one. One year it was a Chatty Cathy doll (I know I’m dating myself) another year was a birthstone ring. Some of my friends who did receive a gift a night got things like a pencil one night and an eraser the next. Not too thrilling.
I never felt deprived growing up that we didn’t celebrate Christmas. Although one year I did try to make a Chanukah bush out of an umbrella (wasn’t too successful). I loved the beautiful lights and decorations. My family would take a drive out to Long Island to view this one incredible home display. Every year we would walk down Fifth Avenue and look at the amazing store front windows. We’d go to Rockefeller Center and beneath the most beautiful Christmas tree we would ice skate. And to top it all off I would watch a Christmas Carol every day on million dollar movies. I have many happy memories.
Fast forward to my son’s childhood where we celebrated both holidays. My son who has been diagnosed with ADHD had an enormous difficulty delaying gratification (he actually still does at 22). The buildup for that one magical day and anticipation of opening Chanukah gifts tested his difficulty to the max. Even though my husband and I tried to play down the holidays the message was everywhere. In the stores, at school, and on TV. The same message over and over… The pressure buildup was incredible. And when that most special day of the whole year finally came the letdown for my son was immense.
Thinking back to my own childhood, I wished we had done something similar for our son. Celebrating the season as a festival of lights and participating in the same activities every year. Such as watching the Prudential building tree being lit and going to Downtown Crossing to view the candle for the first night of Chanukah being turned on. I don’t know if this would have alleviated some of my son’s let down but it might have slowed down the light going out.
Don’t let the light go out! It’s lasted for so many years! Don’t let the light go out! Let it shine through our love and our tears. — Peter Yarrow, (c)1983.©
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By Susan Epstein
December 7th, 2009 at 01:24pm
Under Teens/Tweens
The school year is in full swing now and first quarter report cards have been distributed. This is often the time I start receiving parent’s calls describing their frustration or anger or both. They are reading teacher comments on their child’s report card that state:
• Jimmy is capable of better work
• Jimmy needs to try harder
• Jimmy doesn’t focus or pay attention
Did the teacher forget that Jimmy’s disability affects his ability to focus? Or without the supports and accommodations (that are specified in his IEP or 504) he will not be successful?
Parents describe numerous phone calls and letters requesting better adherence to their child’s IEP or 504 plan. I can’t count how many times they have told me that they don’t want to push the teachers too hard when they are not in compliance in fear of teacher retaliation towards their child.
This is when I advise them to use the three R’s. I recommend that they not RESTRAIN from advocating for all the services their child is entitled to by law. I suggest that they can only deal with what is in front of them and if there is RETALIATION, we will deal with that too. And most importantly never be intimidated, it’s in their job description to take RESPONSIBILITY to insure that their child is successful and happy at school.
Have you had similar feelings about school or teacher retaliation? Please write in and let me know what your thoughts and experiences have been.
Your Special ED Parent Coach,
Mindy
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Tags: Child Special Needs, Children Disabilities Federal Law, Special Ed
By Susan Epstein
November 30th, 2009 at 09:21am
Under Children+ Family+ Teens/Tweens
Mondays With Mindy
For many families who have children with special needs the holidays can often be such a mixed bag. Everyone is excited about seeing family, friends, and eating all that good food.
If you have far to go or you have guests staying with you it does mix up the status quo. Some children with ADHD, Aspergers, and Bipolar Disorder do not do well with changes and transitions. So by the time your guests are about to leave your child has finally become acclimated to all the excitement and then must transition back to the way things were before Thanksgiving.
When you think about it, as adults it’s not like we just snap back to our routine. I know I am usually exhausted and the thought of unpacking or cleaning the mess is not high on my list. I just want to roll up into a cocoon eat leftovers and watch old movies.
So just imagine how our children are feeling. And on top of that they have assignments due Monday when they return to school.
One thing I have always been thankful for during Thanksgiving is when my son’s teachers did not assign any homework over this holiday weekend. That would have sent me right over the edge.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving!
Your Special Ed Parent Coach,
Mindy
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Tags: Children special needs homework
By Susan Epstein
